A Fecal Matter.

WARNING.. Not advised to read unless you have a strong stomach, or are a Mom. The literature below is extremely…. well….gross.
Poor E- she had lice for 4th of July, strep for Labor Day, and we are really hoping that she is able to kick this stomach flu for Halloween. As most of you know, she started vomiting on Tuesday night. Well, yesterday we sent her to school for the first time because she seemed to be feeling much better. The girls’ school also had their annual Halloween parade, which is a big deal to these kiddos. So, off she went.
Mike and I showed up at 4:00 for the parade, and all seemed to be fine. She had a great day at school, and was so excited for the weekend to come. After the parade, we headed over to Chick-fil-A with friends. All of a sudden, I hear that E is in the bathroom crying… I knew it couldn’t be good. However, it couldn’t be much worse. Poor E had thought she just had to “toot”, but unfortunately, it was a lot more than a toot. The technical term for this is sharting. Whether or not they like to admit it, it happens to everyone at least once in their life. Back to E- let’s just say I had to throw away her panties, go to the car to get her new pants (Thank God I had some) and complete a rigorous clean up in that bathroom stall.
I thought the worst was behind us, oh what a fool I was. We got her home, put her in the tub, and all seemed to be okay. We headed down to the basement as a family to watch Scared Shrekless, which was awesome by the way. Throughout the movie there was a little toot here or there, and with each gastric explosion I would jump up and ask her if she was ok. All was good, or so I thought. Then it happened. The shart of all sharts. It all happened so fast, I am still perplexed by the whole thing. First, the shart, then E started screaming and flinging her arms in the air. I saw her trying to get her panties off. As I screamed “No, no, no!”, her soiled panties were flying through the air. Not my best motherly moment, but I lost it. I had been covered in vomit and feces for three days now, and finally broke. She got the couch, the dog, the rug, the pillows, there was even poop on her forehead. Mike heard the screaming and came running downstairs. We have a shower in our basement, so in it she went. And then the clean up began. I started the laundry and put E in clean clothes as Mike had to wash poor Bailey outside with a hose. After that, he left for a poker game that he had been looking forward to all week.
Now it was time for bed. I thought, this poor baby can’t have any more poop left in her body… I mean she hasn’t eaten in almost three days! I still had some Little Swimmers left in the linen closet, and surprisingly, she wanted to wear one. I read her two books and off she went. I crept into my bed, finished some e-mails and caught up on a few shows. I think I fell asleep around 12:30 or so. At 1:30 I heard the doors to my bedroom open and E was crying saying “it happened again!” I guided her to the bathroom, and put her in the tub. Her sheets were soiled beyond belief and she was crying hysterically. (Can we talk about how Little Swimmers don’t work AT ALL!) I could not have her wake up Lou, so I texted Mike and told him that I needed him to come home. He was here within 10 minutes. This time I stripped the bed, Mike got E dressed, and took her to bed.
This morning she has eaten toast, and drank some water (the menu of a prisoner) and so far so good. We are keeping our fingers crossed, as we have so many fun events and parties planned this weekend.

2 thoughts on “A Fecal Matter.

  1. Holly

    Thankfully Gabe’s similar Chic Fil-A adventure that night ( and no I didn’t have extra undies) only had a minor relapse at Granny’s the next day. Of course we are on to a never ending fever and a small vomit episode (but I’m sorry to tell that he got all of that into the toilet!)

  2. swankychicfete

    our son just started puking early this am and i hope thats it for us. but ive known 2 kids in his class that had the same thing. stomach flu is back!

    i hope E gets better in time for T or T-ing!

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