{"id":587,"date":"2011-04-13T06:42:00","date_gmt":"2011-04-13T10:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kikis-list.com\/2011\/04\/13\/a-mothers-guilt\/"},"modified":"2015-01-28T17:37:12","modified_gmt":"2015-01-28T21:37:12","slug":"a-mothers-guilt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/2011\/04\/13\/a-mothers-guilt\/","title":{"rendered":"A Mother&#8217;s Guilt."},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/Screen-Shot-2015-01-28-at-4.23.54-PM.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7233\" src=\"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/Screen-Shot-2015-01-28-at-4.23.54-PM.png\" alt=\"to the moon and back  |  kiwi's list.\" width=\"630\" height=\"749\" srcset=\"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/Screen-Shot-2015-01-28-at-4.23.54-PM.png 630w, https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/Screen-Shot-2015-01-28-at-4.23.54-PM-252x300.png 252w, https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/Screen-Shot-2015-01-28-at-4.23.54-PM-488x580.png 488w, https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/Screen-Shot-2015-01-28-at-4.23.54-PM-624x742.png 624w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 630px) 100vw, 630px\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">If you have been reading this blog for some time you know that I lost my mother to cancer 5 1\/2 years ago. \u00a0What you may not know is that I inherited the very same cancer that took her life. \u00a0We found out in 1989 that <a href=\"http:\/\/kikis-list.blogspot.com\/2010\/07\/butterflies.html\">Neets<\/a> had Medullary Thyroid Cancer. \u00a0The disease was so aggressive that they told her that she had six months to live. \u00a0Refusing to accept this death sentence, she turned 6 months into 16 years. \u00a0Through her advocacy and persistance, our doctors at Johns Hopkins continued to test for a genetic marker that caused the disease. \u00a0In 2000, they found it. \u00a0My brother, sister and I were all tested and both my brother Darren and I tested positive for the gene. In January of 2000 we had our thyroids removed. \u00a0Darren had traces of cancer in his thyroid, but on none of the surrounding lymph nodes. \u00a0I not only had cancer on my thyroid, but on two of the four lymph nodes that they removed.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">I will never forget the look of pain on my mother&#8217;s face. \u00a0How guilty she felt that she somehow was the cause of this pain for her children. \u00a0At the time I was 22,\u00a0childless and completely disregarded these emotions.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">I can honestly say that my mother saved our lives. \u00a0We now work closely with our doctors to ensure that the cancer is under control. \u00a0While I have minor traces of MTC, nothing to be alarmed of at this point. \u00a0Is it a curse? \u00a0In a way, but it is also a blessing. \u00a0We are so fortunate to have this information far enough in advance to prevent this disease from taking another life.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">So, here comes the most difficult part for me. \u00a0A few weeks ago, we had our girls tested for this gene. \u00a0The results came back last week. \u00a0E does not have it, Anna does. \u00a0In a flash, it all came rushing to me- the guilt my mother felt.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">At the very least, we hope that (because we know the facts early enough) in the grand scheme of things it would mean surgery for Anna Lou and an understanding of the disease so that she can have her children tested. \u00a0We will have to take her back for more blood work to make sure that there are no viable traces of cancer in her body (which would be quite rare at this age.) \u00a0If there are not, than she will most likely have a thyroidectomy at age six.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">Does it suck? \u00a0Yes. \u00a0Is it going to kill me to put my baby through this? \u00a0Yes. \u00a0But if this testing was available when my mother was a child, she would be with us today. \u00a0I just wish the curse would have ended\u00a0with me.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.etsy.com\/listing\/209243116\/typographic-art-i-love-you-to-the-moon?ref=sr_gallery_18&amp;ga_search_query=to+the+moon+and+back&amp;ga_search_type=all&amp;ga_view_type=gallery\">Image<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you have been reading this blog for some time you know that I lost my mother to cancer 5 1\/2 years ago. \u00a0What you may not know is that I inherited the very same cancer that took her life. \u00a0We found out in 1989 that Neets had Medullary Thyroid Cancer. \u00a0The disease was so [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,32,8,23,12,46],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-587","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-motherly-moment","category-family","category-kiddos","category-kids","category-life","category-mom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/587","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=587"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/587\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=587"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=587"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=587"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}