{"id":70,"date":"2013-04-02T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-04-02T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kikis-list.com\/2013\/04\/02\/perfectly-imperfect\/"},"modified":"2013-06-18T16:38:31","modified_gmt":"2013-06-18T20:38:31","slug":"perfectly-imperfect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/2013\/04\/02\/perfectly-imperfect\/","title":{"rendered":"Perfectly Imperfect."},"content":{"rendered":"
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I have so many Moms who comment to me “I don’t know how you do it… \u00a0How do you work a full time job, raise two kids and keep up with this blog?” \u00a0Well, my life is not always as pretty as it may seem my friends. \u00a0Although I put a lot of my thoughts out there on a daily basis, it is generally design or fashion based. \u00a0I try to keep my personal life somewhat, well personal.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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You all were so very supportive when I wrote about my diagnosis of Lyme Disease <\/a>last year. \u00a0This has been hard (sometimes unbearable) battle for me and my family. \u00a0The past year of my life has had so many highs, but also some of the lowest of lows. \u00a0While 2012 was personally the toughest year of my life- I also learned a lot about myself and about life. \u00a0I learned that life doesn’t always go according to your plan and that shit happens. \u00a0I have learned to forgive people and to become less judgmental. \u00a0I have learned that life is a journey and to take that journey one day, or one hour at a time. \u00a0I am slowly learning to live in the moment. \u00a0This is something that I will always have to work on as I am about as Type-A as they come. \u00a0I have learned that time can heal most wounds. \u00a0That life is fluid and that (although quite uncomfortable) it is ok not to always have a plan. \u00a0Take. \u00a0Each. \u00a0Day. \u00a0As. \u00a0It. \u00a0Comes.<\/div>\n
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I am a firm believer in therapy. \u00a0And through that therapy I have (for the first time) allowed myself to feel. \u00a0You see, my mother<\/a> was given a death sentence of 6 months when I was 12 years old. \u00a0For the next 16 years it was ingrained in me to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. \u00a0That’s what we did. \u00a0That’s what we had<\/i> to do to survive. \u00a0While outsiders looking in were not surprised by her death in 2005- \u00a0I was stunned. \u00a0And two weeks later, I had given birth to E. \u00a0Pick yourself up, dust yourself off<\/i>… \u00a0I did what I was trained to do.<\/div>\n
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There are ups and downs in allowing yourself to feel- \u00a0but for the first time, I feel like I am actually living rather than just planning my life. \u00a0I have learned to allow myself to make mistakes. \u00a0And since then I’ve made quite a few. \u00a0\u00a0You see, while I will always be a perfectionist, I have learned to tame my impulses. \u00a0And it’s come with a mixture of therapy (and Lexapro.)<\/div>\n
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\u00a0As my therapist advised…. first, start with a small mistake that only YOU would notice.\u00a0\u00a0This advice came after I confessed to her my LOWEST motherly moment. \u00a0The heart picture that you see above was made for me by E. \u00a0Absolutely adorable right? \u00a0I told her about the guilt and shame that I felt because (of course I would never say anything) while I could \u00a0recognize it’s “potential, ” all I could focus on was the fact that a few of the paint chips had writing on them, or that some were not perfect circles. \u00a0 I literally thought about taking it out of the glass and fixing it.<\/div>\n
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After I put the words out there I sat and flinched… I waited for her to chastise me for being the worst mother ever. \u00a0Instead she said “we will fix this.” \u00a0This was a trait that was passed from my mother to me– and I needed to break the cycle. So, the first step was hanging that picture with pride. \u00a0Hanging it in a place where everyone can see it and where it will remind me of how perfectly imperfect life can be. \u00a0And that’s what I did. \u00a0It is hanging in my hallway for all to see, but most importantly for ME to see and remind me of how perfectly imperfect MY life is.<\/div>\n
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\u00a0Just last week, in a mad-dash to get down to Savannah, I printed out the invitations for Lou’s party. \u00a0After I printed every last invitation out, I found not one, but two typos. \u00a0 Don’t get me wrong, I had to calm the demons… but ultimately I sent them out. \u00a0There was no time to reprint. \u00a0I sent an email my friends mentioning the typos and my friend JJ said “I am just glad to see you are human.” \u00a0And that’s what we all are.. Perfectly imperfect humans.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have so many Moms who comment to me “I don’t know how you do it… \u00a0How do you work a full time job, raise two kids and keep up with this blog?” \u00a0Well, my life is not always as pretty as it may seem my friends. \u00a0Although I put a lot of my thoughts […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,49,8,23,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-70","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-motherly-moment","category-inspiration","category-kiddos","category-kids","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kikis-list.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}